chugga chugga chugga choo choo

saturday mornings...theres something particularly sweet about them.
i am devoting today to revising my thesis, studying for my well-being quiz, and tackling my musical study guide for a test tuesday..over the beatles, the beach boys...and such. coffee plays a significant role in my day...and maybe i will even manage changing out of my robe...but that is under scrutiny.
i also need to think about photos and commencement announcements for graduation. i obviously will be putting those together myself... ideally, i would like to have that done by the end of the weekend and sent off by early next week...seeings how i am on the tail end of school...with graduation being 6 weeks away.
it looks like my sisters and brother should be coming down from the valley, which is exciting. so, busy and productive weekend...
i really have had my fill of the party scene, suprisingly. which, sadly, tightens my social circle to...uh... pretty much myself. but i am okay with that...
its really hard for me to fathom my actual graduation. i have positioned these moments as a goal for several years...graduation before i was 30. and i have finally arrived. it feels really good...i have worked so hard and pushed through so many obstacles to get here, completely supported myself in every way, and made it. i am extremely proud of myself.
I have so many ideas about post graduation. if i had a a stash of cash, i know exactly what i would do. but, i don't. so, looking beyond bozeman, and money making schemes...i have been tossing around the idea of working on a cruiseliner as a photographer (hopefully), and saving money for 3 to 4 months. I would travel all over the world and get paid for it. which is kinda dynamite. plus, i would be doing all this with one of my favorites, claudia from costa rica. it is our tentative game plan. start writing, meeting people, traveling, hopefully not getting sea sick, saving money, and by the finish line of the excursion, i will hopefully have enough money saved up to either continue my traveling in some exciting new continent, or head back to the U.S. (san fran) and start fulfilling my dreams.
I, really want to leave these major life decisions open...i want to be guided by a higher power than myself...
so, lots of exciting new ventures in my life. I didn't ever think i would be in my late twenties with no attachments. not even a pet. 11 plants tho, which i have formed a bit of love for...but all in all, i am open for adventure. which is pretty fabulous in my opinion.
so, with all of that said, only time will tell. ciao.

hoopla

aww... fabulous morning.
simple but fabulous. fabulous because the sun is out, because dave matthews is on, because my coffee has jumpstarted my happy little brain cells into overdrive, and because today is open. no plans, no dates, no meetings, no work, no school. just me and my pink robe and my ridiculously messy mop...and oversized black studded glasses.

i happen to be extremely happy with myself this morning...and the coffee may have something to do with that..however, my sense of elatedness stems from a recent personal accomplishment...a surmounted 'obstacle', a....relational growth.

relationships have more often than not been slightly bitter sweet for me. just because, boys shoot for my achilles tendon, and usually hit it dead on. my weakness...
and in saying this, brief yet disclosing bit of information, i will add by saying i have always been sent signals, like intuition signals...like we all do. and i have always ignored them... but THIS time... i didn't ignore the signals. I knew that it wasn't right...despite the fact that 'the boy' is hella cool. but just not right. so, sitting on the pinnacle of this relationship, it dawned on me...no, i trusted my senses, that we weren't right for eachother... i could go down the path of least resistance and be struck by the arrow and undoubtedly fall... or trot down the path that leads me to the water buckets...

i know this probably sounds confusing to those that may not know me personally... (here is my mental warfare concerning the situation...) like, what the heck is this broad talking about? am i sensitive to rejection? in that, i will break it off before there is potential to be hurt? how would i know if it was meant to be or not unless i gave it a solid chance? why not risk it and take a chance and see where it goes?
all decent arguments.
however, aside from all the shoulda woulda couldas of relationships, i just couldn't see a future. and i didn't want to waste my energy on somebody who i couldn't fathom being in my life. and i told him that. ouch. i hope i didn't hit his achilles too hard.

anyways, enough with the hoopla... just saying. i totally rock my own world at this juncture in time. ciao.

can we change?

Maslow says, in regards to our changing that...
~it is in our nature to grow, even when we are not trying to
~We have 2 forces within- the pull toward safety and the pull toward growth (oscillate between safety/growth, dependence/independence, regression/progression)
~failure to respect the child's innate growth choices result in the child's loss of a sense of self..(psychic death).
~that need gratification drives behavior in a hierarchial manner

Quantum change
elements that distinguish quantum change include sudden, dramatic, enduring.
outcomes?
~release from negative feelings
~a change in values and priorities
~change in relationships
~feeling of interconnectedness
~sense of gratitude

An 'emergentist' view of quantum change, therapeutically speaking....
~an environment that fosters change
~a spiritual component
~guidance in managing feelings
~living through the questions

self concordant goals: consistant with the person's interest and core values...
~more investment of energy and more sustained effort
~stronger feeling of autonomy, competence, relatedness

Intrinsic vs extrinsic goals:
intrinsic: produce good things, greater self-actualization, feelings of vitality, less depression/anxiety...
extrinsic goals (success, money, material) have more emotional/physical conflicts with partners.

Adaption principle:
we return to our baseline levels of happiness... the lotto winner and the recent parapalegic... both return to their baseline levels.
lotto winner: gets accustomed to new comforts, takes advantage eventually...sinks back into baseline levels
parapalegic: life is over...initial frustration, begins to adapt and make modest goals.

you will always return to your default level of happiness...mostly genetic.
Are our efforts for happiness futile...
i certaintly think not.

Architecture of Happiness

Socrates (469-399 BC)
Founding figure of western philosophy
contribution to the field of ethics
know thyself... happiness is to be found by knowing thyself, our true nature, our soul.
Socrates believed wrongdoing was a consequence of ignorance and those who did wrong knew no better.
Socrates believed the best way for people to live was to focus on self-development rather than the pursuit of material wealth.
It is often argued that Socrates believed "ideals belong in a world only the wise man can understand", making the philosopher the only type of person suitable to govern others.

Plato: Socrates student
felt that reason and intuition would lead to understanding of what is eternal, beautiful and transcedent.
Happiness as the virtue of justice and the "balanced" soul.

Aristotle: Platos student
taught alexander the great
introduced 'eudamonia': possessed of true well-being
golden mean: the desirable middle between two extremes, one of excess and one of deficiency.
Ideal life: poise, harmony and the avoidance of emotional extremes
also, thought women were 'sub human' and 'cold' interestingly enough

Epicurus
founded epicureanism: materialism, hedonism, absence of divine principle
simple pleasures as the chief purpose of life, but doing so in moderation to avoid suffering caused by overindulgance.
More emphasis on pleasures of the mind then pleasures of the physical.
"with whom a person eats is of greater importance then what is eaten"
emphasized friendship
the "garden philosophers"
States that God, matter, and souls are all made up of atoms.
the fear of gods and death were discouraged

well-being=happiness + life satisfaction - negative emotions

Theories....
Bottom-up theory: the tangible things that make us happy

ie. coffee, chocolate, wine, skiing, quiet moments; circumstantial

Top-down theory: more cognitive, interpretation of life, our personality traits

factors that are correlated to happiness

wealthy democracies

marriage (may be causal)

avoiding negative events and emotions

strong social support network

religion

7 contributing factors to happiness/well-being

valuing the self
sense of perceived control

moving out of ourelves

optimism

relational lives

sense of meaning and purpose

personal "integration"

as far as slices of happiness pie goes, and as far as you are willing to take statistics word for it,

10% of happiness can be attributed to genetics, 40% circumstance, 50% behavior

east meets west

a bit on positive psychology as an integrative discipline...

"Positive psychology is about scientifically informed perspectives on what makes life worth living. It focuses on aspects of the human condition that lead to happiness, fulfillment, and flourishing."
~The Journal of Positive Psychology, 2005

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."
~Aristotle

Confucius (551-479 BC)
Chinese philosopher
His moral teachings emphasized self cultivation, emulation of moral exemplars, and the attainment of skilled judgement rather than knowledge of the rules.

The 5 virtues that Confucius valued
~Jen: the "currency of goodness"
~Chun tzu: the mature person
~Li: propriety (the doctrine of mean)
~Te: the power of moral example
~Wen: the arts of peace

propriety, in my understanding, is appropriate behavior, manners.

Lao-Tzu: b. 604 BC

Taoism
wu wei
Lao Tzu taught that all straining, all striving are not only vain but counterproductive. One should endeavor to do nothing (wu-wei). But what does this mean? It means not to literally do nothing, but to discern and follow the natural forces -- to follow and shape the flow of events and not to pit oneself against the natural order of things. First and foremost to be spontaneous in ones actions.

The five colours blind the eye.
The five tones deafen the ear.
The five flavours dull the taste.
Racing and hunting madden the mind.
Precious things lead one astray.
Therefore the sage is guided by what he feels and not by what he sees.
He lets go of that and chooses this.

Hinduism
Worlds third largest religion
predominance in South Asia

Upanishads: Hindu scriptures that constitute core teachings of Vedanta.
Vedanta is based on two simple propositions.
~Human nature is divine.
~The aim of human life is to realize that human nature is divine.

Bhagavad Gita: 700 verses of sacred hindu scripture, taught by Krishna, who is revered by Hindus as a manifestation of God Himself, and is referred to within as Bhagavan, The Divine One.

The path of desire: pleasure and success
The path of renunciation: duty (faithful performance) and liberation (freedom from life's limiations)

Finding the "beyond within"
~brahman: root "to grow" The eternal unchanging reality which is the Divine ground of all matter, energy, time, space, being, and everything beyond in this Universe.
~Atman: root "breath" It is one's true self beyond identification with the phenomenal reality of worldly existance.

Buddhism: "falling awake"
B. 563 BC, Nepal, as Siddhartha Guatama

4 Noble Truths
~Suffering exists
~Desire exists
~Release from our cravings=release from suffering
~The 8-fold path is the path toward release

The Eightfold Path
The "Right" Way
1. Views: recognizing suffering and its cure
2. Intent: maintaining focus on our goal
3. Speech: speaking with truth and clarity
4. Conduct: acting with compassion
5. Livelihood: work in ways that promote life
6. Effort: virtues will replace ego
7. Mindfulness: steady attention to thoughts/feelings
8. Concentration: cultivating awareness and conciousness

"Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence."
~Aristotle

my 6 a.m. morning walk was lined with bedazzled icecrystals, crisscrossing in every pattern concievable. snow is melting. the green grass, still befuddled from its winter hibernation, is peering through at every corner....wondering if it is safe to stay. mudpuddles lurk, awaiting their distracted victems. the air smells fresh, not like rain, but like prospective rain.
on my way home, jumping puddles, i noticed the icecrystals were fading, undoubtedly being repressed by the throws of the sun. aww, i will trade one for the other.
with the sun on my face, coercing my faded freckles, i stopped. and listened. birds. a conglomerate of different sounding chirps, crisscrossing in every pattern concievable. hmmm... and so it goes.
have a great day everyone!