simple but fabulous. fabulous because the sun is out, because dave matthews is on, because my coffee has jumpstarted my happy little brain cells into overdrive, and because today is open. no plans, no dates, no meetings, no work, no school. just me and my pink robe and my ridiculously messy mop...and oversized black studded glasses.
i happen to be extremely happy with myself this morning...and the coffee may have something to do with that..however, my sense of elatedness stems from a recent personal accomplishment...a surmounted 'obstacle', a....relational growth.
relationships have more often than not been slightly bitter sweet for me. just because, boys shoot for my achilles tendon, and usually hit it dead on. my weakness...
and in saying this, brief yet disclosing bit of information, i will add by saying i have always been sent signals, like intuition signals...like we all do. and i have always ignored them... but THIS time... i didn't ignore the signals. I knew that it wasn't right...despite the fact that 'the boy' is hella cool. but just not right. so, sitting on the pinnacle of this relationship, it dawned on me...no, i trusted my senses, that we weren't right for eachother... i could go down the path of least resistance and be struck by the arrow and undoubtedly fall... or trot down the path that leads me to the water buckets...
i know this probably sounds confusing to those that may not know me personally... (here is my mental warfare concerning the situation...) like, what the heck is this broad talking about? am i sensitive to rejection? in that, i will break it off before there is potential to be hurt? how would i know if it was meant to be or not unless i gave it a solid chance? why not risk it and take a chance and see where it goes?
all decent arguments.
however, aside from all the shoulda woulda couldas of relationships, i just couldn't see a future. and i didn't want to waste my energy on somebody who i couldn't fathom being in my life. and i told him that. ouch. i hope i didn't hit his achilles too hard.
anyways, enough with the hoopla... just saying. i totally rock my own world at this juncture in time. ciao.
