shed

its tuesday, and i feel good.
a fresh breath of air has swirled its way through my body, invigorating me and causing a state of peace simultaneously.
i am sanquine that this feeling persists, as the acerbicness of the last few months has left a tart shell around my body which i am currently shedding.
shedding. shedding.

monday.
there is a cloudy blanket covering the sky this morning, temps have dropped a few degrees.
i have alot to be thankful for.
i have my health.
i have my family and their health.
i have forest and rex.
i have a place to live, free of rent.
i have food to eat.
i have a soft bed to sleep in.
i have a car that runs.
my mind has taken a vacation... hopefully i find that soon.

red nails

well its day two of this therapeutic writing process i have assigned to myself.
i am not feeling too great this morning. better than most days but not as good as i'd like to feel. part of me just isn't completely happy. and at this point, i don't even know why. is it things that have set me off in the past that i cant get over completely? or is it that i am just not happy with my life as it is and i am just refusing to give up on it?
i have my first psycho therapy session today. preceeding my facial and after my nails get shelaced a bright shiny red.
festive for the holidays. at least my nails will be in the spirit of christmas. the rest of me falls somewhere on the wayside.

puzzled

well im back. i wish i could say that with gusto. but its more of a drawn out, lack-luster, sighed out greeting.
im back, meaning back to writing, because i feel i need to. i've lost so many pieces of myself along the way, that you can hardly make out the whole puzzle picture anymore. i'm scattered, i'm lost, and i'm disorganized.
writing has always brought me some sort of peace and a way back to understanding myself. so me writing now, is more of a therapy than anything else.
its hard for me to even post this after i write it, because i want my 'millions' of readers to think i'm well.
so. there's nothing new here. i've been to this place within myself before. i like to call it my perfect nightmare, where the days are as dark as the nights...where the sinister pains that lurk inside of me show their many fearful faces...where i push when i want to hold close, where i am green with jealousy, red with anger, blue with sadness. where i literally create this world around me, comprised of nothing more than my worst fears imaginable. come true.
and thats where i am right now.
i have created this world around me. i have created this misery and the pain. it doesn't need to be like this.
the only times i ever feel like this are when i am in love.
so, here i am again. i start out with this unparalleled, practically super-human strength, and not long after...i am a hollowed out shell of what i used to be.
so here i am, left with the casing of julia. and the casing is even deteriorating. i can't seem to pull myself together, even as i watch my dreams fall through my fingers.

weary

our weary souls march across these lands, the weight of the world on our shoulders. the injustices seem to seep into our bodies, creating contours, folds, and lines.
grimacing in the face of the betrayer, we stumble on.
life: a place of struggle.
life: a relentless beating of already tortured souls.
where is the fairness of this world?
where is the perfect order amidst the chaos?

we've touched the brilliance of peace and sanctity.
some more than others.
its there.
the peace is there.
now,
lets find it.

deep and dark

june 29th. 2011.
i am up early, sipping freshly brewed french roast starbucks, so deep and dark in its ways. naughty. the java is bathing in a hot pool of caffeinated bliss alongside a slightly ridiculous amount of cream and raw sugar, both carefree and totally nude.
the nevada sun is pouring through the bay windows here, designing geometric shadows on the round glass table i am sitting at. looks like its gonna be another triple digit day outside, not a cloud or breeze to be found.
in the background, rex chomps emphatically on his breakfast. And further down the hall, reggae music beats its way through thin air to find its way to my vulnerable eardrums.
even my coffee cup has a reggae theme.
and one more cup, please and thankyou coffee gods.

last night, during dinner, forest and i revved up vintage ideas and philosphies, including the suffering in this world, so deep and dark in its ways. and..in our quest for world peace (ahem), we nodded at the notion that it really is all about perspective. yea, thats a period there. i suppose circumtance weasles its way into unhappiness as well. and maybe even genetic makeup. but the majority of tortured souls have a choice. and what is this life for if not to be happy? how could we NOT desperately seek a state of well-being, as if our lives depended upon it? which they do.

and so it goes. heres to perspective.

elephant and you

so, there is this analogy that attempts to explain the relationship between the two sides in everyone. one side is logical, sensible, and stays on the straight and narrow...attempting to hit 'the mark'. and the other side, careless and whimsical, whose impulses are so strong and beat so hard that the mind and body are consumed and taken over, given free reign to the innate impulses that resonate and push you in a direction, missing 'the mark' by a long shot.
the analogy is this:
imagine that your two sides could take form. your careless side is an elephant and your logical side is a small version of you...riding the elephant. you have reigns and a harness on the elephant and you sensibly guide this big part of you in the right direction, down the path and to a particular destination. the elephant listens and follows your lead. however, if the elephant decides that it wants to veer off of the path that has been laid before it...no amount of redirecting will stop it. it is too large and powerful and hang on because, you are going for a ride.
is there truth to this? yes, i think so. but with discipline and practice, the elephant will begin to adhere to the principles of sensibility far more frequently.
and in doing so, the persons' psyche will be more disciplined to stay on course than be distracted with that resounding impulse to veer astray. also, not all elephants are the same, in that some elephants are more riddled with curiousity and mischeviousness than others...causing this tendency to be stronger in some while milder in others. but its there in everyone, all the same.

naked

i have been in the desert now for a month and a half. ish. its beginning to get hot. the heated serpent, dressed in tans and greens, likes to flick its forked tounge at me...so close to touching me i can feel its hot breath down my neck like the shift of an air current, burning a little hotter than the second before. the desert is a different kind of place for me. it has stripped me of all of my belongings and habits and false bottomed securities. naked i am. alone. with forest, yes. but far away from anything familiar. i have no crutches anymore. nothing to lean on when i feel weak. and this may be a good thing. forces me to stand up a little straighter and summon the strength that i have known was there all along. the courage to face my fears..that seem to lie...in wait...for a weakness in the armor that i wear. these fears have snuck in, manifested, and made a home inside of me. they lie dormant for most of the time. but, here, in the desert, my fears and i...well we have more confrontations. one just as horrible as the next. and i know why. its because i used to have mechanisms to push them at bay. to temporarily relieve myself of the angst of fear. to shut it out and push it down. i have no mechanisms here. when the shutters open, and i feel weak, the darkness inside of me rushes through me like a Montana thunderstorm on a summer day.
and the maddening part...of it all, is that these debilatating fears are not even real. they are but a figment of my tainted imagination.

thirty.

its my birthday today. i am 30 years old. and yes i feel wiser. just like a new pair of running shoes makes you run faster. I am wrapping things up at school, finishing up with photography and web design. currently, i am cleaning, packing, and subsequently moving out of my gorgeous lil loft by campus. my little sister is pregnant with a little girl. my best friend just had a 10 pound baby boy. and i am moving to nevada in 15 days, migrating south with the birdies to be with my forest. life is good. very good. wecolming the 30s with open arms.

click click

awww... 2011... you sweet sweet sassy little year you.

so happy for so many things this year.
forest, my love, who is as sweet and caring as he is gorgaliscious is the one who puts a twinkle in my eye and a smile on my face... (okay after you go puke, come back and continue reading).



while living in the clouds, i have also mangaged to be productive... a little bit.
i am branching off with photography, learning much more about my camera and taking lots of photos...

shutter speed.
slow (long exposure...motion is blurred)



fast (short exposure to light...motion is frozen)



aperture.
the less light let in, the more depth of field...



the more light let in (larger opening), the shallower the depth of field...



high key photograph...(increased photo composition, slower exposure)



low key...

roots

friday morning.
its white outside but warmish. tolerable.
i pryed myself out of bed at 545 this a.m. to go to yoga class.
so glad i did.
there has been so many emotions swirling around inside of me lately. emotions that affect me physiologically, which domino into my physical. and emotions that aren't even real, merely figments and fragments of my imaginative mind.
when these emotions overtake me, i understand that they aren't real. that i am being consumed by something that i am inventing. consumed by something that's not even real. is that insanity? i think its a bit insane, yes.
so, as my heart and mind race through the recesses of unexplicable paralyzing territory, so foriegn yet so familiar...i need to regain a sense of control. of peace. i need to navigate, find the root of the psychological abscess, and begin to work at it until it is free from me.
i believe that we, every one of us, has the ability to free ourselves from pain.
wholly.
yoga this morning loosed my knot. figuratively and literally.
and i feel blessed. and thankful. and the holds that had me this morning have lessened their proverbial grip.
or maybe i should say, light was shed onto the darkness, the falsehood of my thoughts, and they disappeared.

bird it

the skies blue offers a soft backdrop this morning to the powdered sugar puff clouds. the birds are out. the length of my balcony is lined with tufts of soft bread, however the birds must not be as hungry as i thought because half of it is still there. either that, or these jays are bread connoisseurs, scoffing at the thought of indulging in a walmart bread brand. or maybe, the bread chunks are too big for their little beaks.

in any case, i think these little jay birds outside of my window are diva'ish'.

a new year

breathe in and let it out. in and out.
my life is bountiful. pure and simple.

colds & flu

"the only safe and effective defense to influenza is having a strong offense."

this time of year, everyone around me is battling the bug. influenza and the common cold. i had a bout with it myself during holiday break.
so, the ever zealous 'geek' in me spotlights these times as opportunitites to research natural prevention and treatment. (geeks btw, are where its at).

ahem.

most of my research has been drawn upon in this particular topic by an author and natural medicine man, dr. richard schulze who has devoted his studies to natural healing remedies. you could say the following is an outline of his book, called 'colds & flu'. knowledge is power.

here we go....



colds, upper-respiratory tract infections, influenza, stuffed-up sinuses, sore throats, swollen tonsils and adenoids, coughs, fevers and long congestion are all infections caused by a pathogen, or germ.

there IS such thing as cold and flu 'season' because during these months, people are more confined to their homes with less ventilation, less fresh air and more closed windows. bacterial and viral infections are spread by infected saliva and mucous droplets from coughing and sneezing.

OPEN THOSE WINDOWS AND GET SOME AIR CIRCULATING!!!

IF YOU CAN HELP IT STAY AWAY FROM OTHERS WHO ARE SICK!!!

i hardly believe it, but statistics show that influenza kills a minimum of 40,000 people every year.

drifting and shifting:
when a virus mutates gradually, this is referred to as a drift. the changing enables the virus to evade your immune system's defenses, go unrecognized and infect you again.
when a virus changes quickly, this is called a shift.

heres a fun fact...yet another thing we are all lied to about soley because there are billions of dollars involved.

antiobiotics have NO preventative or curing effect on influenza or colds.
its all about making money.
most doctors, who know better, still write prescriptions for antibiotics just to keep their patients happy.

ew.

flu shots.
billions and billions of dollars are in the flu shot biz.
there are hundreds of known influenza viruses and over 200 common ones.
it takes MONTHS to manufacture influenza shots and the viral mix has to be a guess or prediction of what is thought will be arriving the next flu season.
NONE of these flu shot predictions has ever been accurate.

There is mercury and aluminum in every flu shot, increasing your chances of alzeimers and various other cognitive dysfunction.

ok. are we, as consumers, in a rat race? our every move dictated by lies begatting beCATTing lies?



vaccines.
another money maker?
i am prone to think so.

here is a crash course on your immune system...
its our defense system.
comprised of organs, tissues, systems, blood cells, fluids, nodes, nodules, bones, and other pieces and parts all over your body.
whats in the arsenal?
white blood cells for one, which kill invaders and communicate information.
b-cells, which ultimately create antibodies.
lymphatic fluid and immune fluids.
thymus, spleen, lymphatic nodes
appendix, tonsils, adenoids
red bone marrow...
all combat illness.

The invaders are often referred to as antigens (anti-creation) or pathogens (disease-creation) or just germs. these micro-organisms include bacteria, viruses, fungi, pollen, cancer cells, etc.

your immune system is designed to kill and dispose of any of these foriegn bodies.

its two main jobs include surveillance and action.

it checks blood and body for invaders and if it detects any, it goes into action.

very basically, monocytes or macrophages attack viciously to kill and eat up any substance that isn't you. other immune cells also have their specific jobs to do in killing the invador.

t cells work together with b cells by excreting certain immune fluids that intereferes with the pathogens ability to replicate and reproduce. these immune chemicals also activate t killer cells which increase the communication ability between immune cells and even help protect your body's healthy cells that have not been infected by making them more resistant to the pathogen.

some of these fluids releases by the macrophages tell your body to increase its temperature. this process is called leukotaxis. its purpose is to speed up the rate at which your white blood cells can move through your blood stream and your body. for every degree of temperature rise in your body, the speed at which these white blood cells can travel is douboed.

this proves that reducing fevers with drugs goes directly against what your body is doing and inhibits and reduces the ability of your immune system to heal you.

so..

DONT USE DRUGS TO REDUCE TEMPERATURE BECAUSE IT INTERFERES WITH YOUR WHITE BLOOD CELLS KILLING OFF WHATEVER PATHOGEN IS CAUSING DIS-EASE. (to an extent, obviously. you don't want your temp to get too high...but a little fever is good).

the t cells and b cells attack the invader by creating and excreting a poison (antibody) that is specifically lethal to the invader.


we are what we think.
using neuro-peptide receptors, our immune system is listening to and reacting to our emotional dialog.

SO STAY POSITIVE!



whoops! i mean....



9 effective cold and flu prevention tips
1. avoid sick people and crowds

2. start preventative natural medicine
--> keep your blood rich with nutrients. these nutrients are your body's building blocks that it needs to bu9ild all imuune cells, which wage war against the invaders.
the best way is by eating plenty of organic, live, fruits, vegetables, grains, seeds, nuts and sprouts...basicaly a healthy and vital vegan food program.

3. clean the air
-->air purifier, fresh air, masks or scarves

4. wash your hands more often

5. keep your fingers out of your nose, mouth, and eyes

6. keep warm and don't get a chill

7. get more movement and sun
--> your immune system does not have a pump like your blood circulation has your heart. it totally depends on you moving your body to massage and pump your white blood immune cells around your body. no movement is no immune circulation.
try yoga or deep breathing...stretching and sex... an hour a day.

8. get your eight hours of sleep
-->lack of sleep can double your chances of getting an infection when exposed to it.

9. avoid negativity

okay.
so...you feel it coming on..the itchy and scratchy show...the dreaded sickness.

WHAT TO DO AT THE FIRST SIGN OF A COLD OR FLU IS EARLY AGGRESSIVE TREATMENT.
YOU CAN REDUCE SYMPTOMS BY UP TO %50 OR MORE AND ALSO REDUCE THE DURATION OF THE INFECTION BY %50 OR MORE.

once you have had contact with the bacteria or virus, the pathogens start multiplying in your body after a few hours.

the quicker you can start the natural defensive health and immune building, the better cheddar.



So here's what to do...

8 steps of aggressive purification

1. stop eating
--> it takes alot of blood and a lot of your body's energy to process, digest, assimilate and eliminate food. instead, all of this energy can be utilized by your body and immune system. get out the juicer and start juicing, stay on pure water, herbal teas, and fresh fruit and vegetables...a vegan diet.

2. start drinking
--> 16 oz. of water and fresh organic fruit juice. lemon juice with a few pinches of cayenne pepper.

3. herbs.
--> echinacea. it is a powerful immune system stiumulant. habanero peppers makes the echinacea work much faster and stronger, and garlic kills harmful pathogens.
raw garlic specifically.

4. hot and cold therapy
--> okay heres what you do. run a hot bath (as hot as you can stand) and bring in a large cup of tea with a sprinkle of cayenne pepper. sit in the bath for 15 to 20 minutes and keep putting hot water in so that it doesn't cool down. you wanna sweat here. drain the bath and alternate hot and cold shower temperatures several times. hot water relaxes you and loosens your muscles. cold water stiumulates you and contracts the muscles. the reasoning behind this is that you are bringing the blood to the surface of your body, then driving it back to the center core of your body.this alternation of hot to cold is the most powerful form of moving your blood and lymphatic fluid. k. get in some sweats and go to bed.

5. crack a window...
-->if you don't live in montana during the winter time.

6. stay positive
--> its that mind body thing.

7. enema
--> at least consider it. ideally, you want to flush accumulated waste and toxins out of your body.

8. potassium broth
--> the vegetables are powerfully alkalinizing to your body, which assists your body to eliminate mucous, acids, waste, toxins and poisons. it is a natural mineral flush for your blood and body.
once you have made it, sip it warm for a few days.
potassium broth recipe
*fill a large pot up to a few inches below the top with:
%25 potato peels
%25 chopped whole beets and carrots
%25 garlic and white onions
%25 dark greens (beet greens, kale, collard, spinich, etc)
-add a few hot peppers
-add enough distilled water to just cover veggies and simmer on very low for one to four hours. do not boil.
-strain and drink only the broth.
-use only organic veggies. we are flushing OUT the body here.other ideas...
throat spray and chest rub

this should have you back to yourself in no time at all....


salud to good health

nutritional happiness

~good morning everyone~



i just so happen to believe that, as we mosey along through our lives, we are all ultimately striving for one thing.

long-lasting happiness.

i am not talking temporary happiness, which can be gained by drugs, alcohol, medication, promiscuous sex, on and on. these temporary highs are followed, without fail, by painful lows.

i don't want lows, if i can help it.

i want highs, natural highs, that i produce within myself.

as far as health is concerned, i am a ginormous advocate of psychosomatic medicine,the interrelationship between psychological and biological factors in human health and disease, the connection between mind and body.

in fact, i think it is paramount



so, we want long-lasting happiness.
there are alot of factors out there that are out of our control in terms of attaining optimal well-being.
for instance,
~genetics (inherited genes that play roles in setting the stage for depression)
~age (attempted suicide rates peak during the adolescent years)
~gender (woman are 2 to 3 times more likely to have depression than men)
~ethnicity (hispanic and black adolescents report more depression than white adolescents)
~family history of depression (a study showed that children whose parents suffered from major depression were nine times more likely to be depressed than children from unaffected families)



so why don't we focus on things within our control?

like nutrition.



There is a direct relationship between the food we eat and the way we feel.

Serotonin is one of those "feel good" chemicals in our brains.
Low serotonin levels in the brain are a contributing factor to depression.
Serotonin is NOT found in any food or food supplements, it can only be manufactured by the body.

The body needs raw materials to make serotonin.
One of these materials is the amino acid known as tryptophan.
EATING FOODS WITH ADEQUATE AMOUNTS OF TRYPTOPHAN OPTIMIZES SEROTONIN PRODUCTION.

foods with alot of tryptophan:
~tofu
~flax seeds
~pumpkin seeds



Omega-3.
Another nutrient you want in your arsenal is OMEGA-3 fat.
Mental effects of Omega-3 deficiency include:
~higher risk of depression
~lower IQ

foods with alot of omega-3
~FISH OIL supplement
~Mackerel
~Halibu
~flaxseed oil
~spinich
~walnuts



Folic Acid.
Depression can be caused or worsened by insufficient blood levels of a B vitamin called folic acid, or folate.
Raising the folic acid level by diet will typically cure certain forms of depression!

foods with alot of folate
~chickpeas
~lentils
~kidney beans



Vitamin B12.
Deficiencies of this vitamin result in poor coordination, frequent forgetfulness, and depression.

food that has B12
~TAKING B12 SUPPLEMENTS IS ADVISED! in particular, HYDROXYCOBALAMIN.
~soy milk
~dry cereal
~steak



So we should all really think about making a conscious effort to provide ourselves with dietary nutrients including tryptophan, omega-3 fats, B12 vitamin, and folic acid. in doing so, we are being an active participant in achieving what we all really want, a sense of well-being, naturally.

eightfold path

according to Siddhartha Gauatama, these eight practices are meant to free indiduals from suffering. these guidelines are meant to help free up an individual from attachments (addictions) and delusional thinking...to capture truth from the world. without practice, all efforts are futile.

these eight steps are not sequential, but independently work with eachother.

one. right views.
to see things as they really are. impermanent. imperfect. that suffering has a cure.

two. right intentions.
focusing our mental energy on controlling our actions. commitment to ethical and mental self-improvement. intention of good will.

three. right speech.
words can make or break. no lies. no gossip. no slander. tell the truth. speak warmly, gently, and only when necessary.

four. right conduct.
unwholesome actions lead to unwholesome states of mind. don't kill. don't steal. don't engage in sexual misconduct.

five. right livelihood.
righteous living. not dealing in weapons. no dealings with living beings (prostitution, slaughter). not working in meat production. no selling of intoxicants.

six. right effort.
wholesome mental energy. self discipline, honesty, benevolence, kindness.

seven. right mindfulness.
seeing things with clear consciousness. actively observing and controlling where our thoughts go. contemplation of body, feeling, state of mind, and phenomena.

eight. right concentration.
meditation.

snowshoeing glacier

the day after christmas.
me and a bunch of fabulous misfits decided to go snowshoeing glacier.
amazing day.
its always nice to spend time with good friends OUTSIDE of the bar.

McDonald Creek


Kappa and his stoag


jami... wheres your wings girl




bye....

christmas

christmas at the daigles. minus mama... we missed you.
calebs first christmas...

the crevisse

over christmas break, i was handed the opportunity to go home, to eureka. my hometown. it was pretty incredible.
first night back, i went to an ugly sweater party. my first, hopefully not my last. it was a little surreal. a lotta funny. got to see ol peeps like juice...who sported a cobalt blue jnco sweater. he's the kind of friend that i can just look at the expression on his face and know exactly what he is thinking. lots of laughs...thats all we do, laugh at eachother.
then there's netzloff...we talked about music, his bands butter and wartime blues...
saw holt, the mexican jumping bean.
hung out with my cuz davey, as he sported a thick cardigan sweater, church pants (holey), and untied boots... the disheveled look to a tee. his girlfriend, sweet jenny haidle was there. she's a keeper.
lots of good people...oh-i was wearing an oversize blue sweatshirt with a snowman on the front and a birdhouse on the back.

after a few jagermeisters and jack and cokes, the evening was 'capped off'.

the next morning, the big plan was to go up trego to the crevisse to do some ice-climbing...

i was up for it...but after a long night of drinking, i wasn't sure if the plan would follow through.
sure enough, the next morning, holt the mexican jumping bean comes to pick me up and we are off.
he was rough. he was haggard looking. he was still drunk i am sure. but, armed with snowpants, vitamin water, and trail mix, we headed out.
gotta love following through, right?

about an hour into the drive, we make it. we stuff sierra nevadas into a camel back and into every pocket we can find and start the trek.

we traverse through streams, rocks, fallen logs, and ice to make it.

needless to say, it was worth it.


there was quite a crew out there. im talkin bad asses. i know i am in good hands with these guys.
meet wade.


wade is in his happy place doing dangerous things...such as ice-climbing, caving, jumping off things, etc. all the times i have hung out with wade have been extreme. last time with him, we went caving, dove into freezing waters, scaled cave walls, and surfaced numb and dirty. wade's good stuff.

matt...


matt is your quintessential bad ass. anybody that knows him knows that. and with all his badassesdness...he is a tailor. he handmade these gortex blue and black pants. looking closer, his craftsmanship is on point. this is without any type of formal class... pretty darn impressive.

and holt...


lots of energy. always smilin. down for a good time.

lovely savaiah


she's a funny lil bird. literally, she was petrified of climbing the ice or having her boyfriend ice climb where they are strapped in with ropes... yet she flys planes solo 20 thousand feet in the air.

here are some goodies....






my ex and his papa were there... we got along fabulously. it was a really beautiful day.

bilbo & co.

forest flew up to see me... who knew forests could fly... fairly absurd.
we had an AMAZING time...i had to take him to dave's sushi so that we could indulge in the cheeseburger of sushi rolls, the Gobbler. crab, mango, avocado, cream cheese, tempura fattty roll, doused with sweet chili sauce.
we devoured these culinary godsends with pleasure...

that evening, equipped with my girlfriends recipe, i started dinner. black truffle spiced soy bean succotash over polenta, topped with chimichurri sauce.
in all honesty, it was apparent that it was my first time cooking this dish. the veggies were sad looking, the polenta wasn't quite cooked through...and the chimichurri sauce was a little too spicy. i banked on the 'thought that counts' with this one.

the following saturday was cold and snowy. fact.
i had planned a sleighride up bigsky, a first for both of us.



as we made our way to ranch 320, we saw 3 moose just off the road...



forest took the last one, at about 10 to 15 feet away. lil too close for comfort for me.

we turn into the ranch, a wee bit late (due to the moose sightings)... but we made it. i was happy to have my eskimo with me.



we met the ringleaders of our chariot...bill, bo, and co.


hopping in the sled, forest and i nestled in the very back...most definitly the best seats on the sled. draped with wool blankets and furry hoods, we started off. the night was clear, only days from a full moon, which cast tree shadows along the lit snowbanks.

it was nice. the air was fresh and clean. the romanticism 'cliche' of starlit sleighrides is verified in my book.

stopping for 'cowboy chili',

drinks,

and a warm campfire under the moonlight was also...very nice.


we soaked and sweat in the hot springs for a solid 2 hours afterwords